It’s been a long time since I’ve been on, and I miss being able to express myself without fear of judgements… Life certainly has taken some unexpected twists and turns lately for me. There are a few good things that have happened and some not so great shit too. I’ve been trying to hold it together for a while I guess and just go with the flow of life, but it sucks. I hate having bad surprises, or any for that matter, but mostly the bad ones….Let’s get you up to date…
The relationship I thought would never end has. That was a rough fucking situation all in itself, but WOW….I didn’t expect to find out he was cheating on me pretty much the whole time, then try to justify his actions… Dating sites, Craigslist personal ads, Instagram, Facebook, and the list goes on and on.. But the worst part? He was doing it with both woman AND MEN… Like what the fuck is that? I have zero problems with people who are bi, or gay or anyone in the LGBT community whatsoever…but who wants it to be their SO that does it? It’s quite shocking to be honest. It took me a long time to get over that. I read just about everything he was saying to these people and that is what hurt the most. I was no one to him. But hey, I guess it is what it is right? Moving on.
I go back to court the end of the month for the kids. I’m so nervous of what will happen. It’s a new judge so we are hoping that she won’t be a total dick like the last one we had. I can not handle anymore disappointment and neither can my boys. Things have been worst off with the ex, he’s scaring me more and more with how terribly he is treating the kids, especially my eldest, whom he really never fucked with before. It seems he has shifted his anger from one child to the next and it is quite disturbing to be honest. But a few more weeks and we will see if they will be coming home.
I went camping for the first time this weekend. My youngest son’s father, and my boyfriend and all our boys. It was a great time, we had so much fun. It was nice to get away for the night and just BE. I haven’t had much “me time” outside of our house in a long time so it was relaxing and fun. Something I am not very used to lol. My son has been very happy to have his dad involved in his life again after a long time away. Both our faults, but we are trying not to live in the past and focus on how to make our relationship better, and the kids. His oldest son came to live with me a few months ago, it has been challenging but rewarding all in the same. He’s a good kid, he’s a teenager lol and he’s the same age as my oldest and they’re best friends so it absolutely is beneficial to the kids and my youngest loves having his “new older brother” home with us too. They all just started school this year so its been super quite here and I definitely missed those quiet days where I have time to watch a show, or clean or go for a drive or sit and actually finish the second Game of Thrones book I’ve been trying to read for a year lol. It feels nice to not have to worry, even if it’s just during the day.
It’s hard to believe that I am a mother of a High schooler already. Holy shit where has the time gone? He was my baby one minute and the next he’s playing football and has a girlfriend. Middle kid is now a middle schooler, and youngest is in third grade. I have no more babies. It makes me want another one, but I know that will pass quickly haha I have no time for that nonsense, all the fighting and screaming and whining is gone from 8 to 3, I finally have the house to myself during the day and I don’t think my dog would appreciate a screaming baby in it’s place. Life is ok right now. I got through some pretty heavy shit the last few years and I finally feel settled. Maybe that isn’t the right word, but I feel ok. For now, and I’m ok with that. It could be worst. Take care. Xoxo